Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Welcome, summer! Goodbye, anxiety!
Ahhhhhhh, it has begun. The weeks that I admittedly have somewhat feared are finally here. I'm now home with THREE boys for the next 8 weeks. Yes, I fully anticipate plenty of worms, snakes, bandaids, farts, burps and boogers on the horizon. And so far I'm loving every minute of it. Well, not EVERY minute of it, but most of them.
So let's put this out there -- I'm a creature of anxiety. No, this is not something I'm proud of in the slightest. However, as I've grown older (and wiser?) I've figured out that I'm plagued with the stuff. Normally I can take a bit of a happy pill to chill my crazy self out, but these days I'm still nursing Baby Pooper, so that's not a possibility. So instead I'm working on trying exercise and numerous attempts to have an inner dialogue in order to find some sort of Shauna Zen-like existence. Much, much easier said than done. I still occasionally panic in crowds, find myself over-analyzing numerous personal interactions (especially with friends), and worry incessantly over my kids (in particular in regards to school -- everything else is under my "control". Yeaaahh.).
Speaking of control, I'm starting to figure out that much of this anxiety is centered around exactly that. Control. Evil little monster that it is. I have none of it yet constantly seek it. Hmmmm -- sounds like my kids! Recently we found out that Middle Man didn't get the 1st grade teacher we were hoping for (she was Numero Uno's teacher, and was FABULOUS), and I obsessed about it for days. We're not talking just wishin' and a hopin' -- we're talking OBSESSED. Why did this happen? What did we do wrong? What could have been done differently? What does this mean for Middle Man? The answer to all of these questions (and probably more!) is NOTHING. It means he has MB as a teacher and not the lovely Ms.J. Thas it! Nothing more, nothing less. He's thrilled to have many of this friends from Kindie move on with him, especially his most dear little friend LadyBug. He of course is still asking about the status of some of his *other* girlfriends as well, but we have yet to find out who they've gotten yet. My ladies man ;) Anyway, it boils down to that it seems not really be making a huge impact on his mental well being. So why did it impact me so much?
Anyway, I've got to figure out a way to not just get through the next 8 weeks, but some way to make them amazing. My boys deserve amazing, that's for sure. They are by far the most incredible little creatures on this planet (biased? Nah.), and they should have a summer to remember. And not one that's memorable because they're freaky mother obsessed about a teacher selection for 10 days straight. So I'm busy trying to build memories with them based on fun times at the pool, enjoying the library, play dates with friends, camping with more friends, hunting for snakes, spending time with the grandparents, and so on and so on.
It's going to be AMAZING (Well, I anxiously anticipate it will.)
So let's put this out there -- I'm a creature of anxiety. No, this is not something I'm proud of in the slightest. However, as I've grown older (and wiser?) I've figured out that I'm plagued with the stuff. Normally I can take a bit of a happy pill to chill my crazy self out, but these days I'm still nursing Baby Pooper, so that's not a possibility. So instead I'm working on trying exercise and numerous attempts to have an inner dialogue in order to find some sort of Shauna Zen-like existence. Much, much easier said than done. I still occasionally panic in crowds, find myself over-analyzing numerous personal interactions (especially with friends), and worry incessantly over my kids (in particular in regards to school -- everything else is under my "control". Yeaaahh.).
Speaking of control, I'm starting to figure out that much of this anxiety is centered around exactly that. Control. Evil little monster that it is. I have none of it yet constantly seek it. Hmmmm -- sounds like my kids! Recently we found out that Middle Man didn't get the 1st grade teacher we were hoping for (she was Numero Uno's teacher, and was FABULOUS), and I obsessed about it for days. We're not talking just wishin' and a hopin' -- we're talking OBSESSED. Why did this happen? What did we do wrong? What could have been done differently? What does this mean for Middle Man? The answer to all of these questions (and probably more!) is NOTHING. It means he has MB as a teacher and not the lovely Ms.J. Thas it! Nothing more, nothing less. He's thrilled to have many of this friends from Kindie move on with him, especially his most dear little friend LadyBug. He of course is still asking about the status of some of his *other* girlfriends as well, but we have yet to find out who they've gotten yet. My ladies man ;) Anyway, it boils down to that it seems not really be making a huge impact on his mental well being. So why did it impact me so much?
Anyway, I've got to figure out a way to not just get through the next 8 weeks, but some way to make them amazing. My boys deserve amazing, that's for sure. They are by far the most incredible little creatures on this planet (biased? Nah.), and they should have a summer to remember. And not one that's memorable because they're freaky mother obsessed about a teacher selection for 10 days straight. So I'm busy trying to build memories with them based on fun times at the pool, enjoying the library, play dates with friends, camping with more friends, hunting for snakes, spending time with the grandparents, and so on and so on.
It's going to be AMAZING (Well, I anxiously anticipate it will.)
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